Somebody told me Jesus forgives the people and admits them into heaven. I told them, Yeah, I’ve seen the movie All Dogs go to Heaven , and even All Dogs go to Heaven 2 ; but I haven’t seen the movie All Rapists go to Heaven yet, so if you could rent me that one I’m sure we could delve deeper into the subject of spirituality.
A guy was throwing popcorn at the back of my head in the cinema. I turned around and said, You and me…when this film finishes…let’s sort this out. He said, OK then. And then, when it was over, we cleared away all the popcorn like respectable men.
So Voldemort is in a dark place somewhere… …i don’t know where the fuck this guy is staying but it’s fukn depressing as fuck. Like, dark clouds and cockroaches and shit. And he’s just sitting there randomly with 3 arms. He has 2 dementors as pets… He really loved those dementors cause they kept him company from his dark mind, and the dementors have allloot of souls sucked up, cause, you know…they’re fukn dementors. They live and breath people’s souls…Anyways. Fukin Hitler walks in and is like, Nein!!!!! Nein!!!! and is mad at Voldemort. Like, he doesn’t want to kill Voldemort, he’s just annoyed cause he’s so fukin depressing. So then Stalin walks in and he’s fukn pissed too Fukin Voldemort! and he drinks an entire bottle of the finest vodka and hurls it to the ground; shattering it into itty bitty pieces, Fukn Voldemort, you little bitch Then Osama walks in and does the whole screaming terrorist shit, Allahlalalalalalalalalalalala!!!!! but he doesn’t run towards Voldemort and blow up cause he can just use other terrorists to do that shit for him. Osama could feel Voldemort’s pain, but he wanted the Dark Lord to use his feelings for great things and not be annoying. Anyways so all the evil people of history come and you can get the picture. Pol, Ted, Kim, Cartman with a Hitler moustache, fuckin even Saddam Hussein comes and is like, Damn Voldemort, you be lookn kinda sexy right now. ‘I wonder how warm his asshole is…hmm’ *imagination* ok. so. All the evil dudes are talking to each other and they’re all agreeing that Voldemort is being a little bitch. But they can’t kill him because of those fucking dementors. So randomly, Snape tries to reassure these bastards, You guys do realise you’re already dead, right?…so the dementors can’t steal your souls… but Evil can sense Evil and Snapes Evil meter was kind of low, so they offed him. Very easily. Mao Zedingdong was especially mad, even though he appeared calm and happy outwardly, Just stop!…..No…No…don’t you stare at me, nope…Voldy….come on you little fuck….don’t be staring at me like that….don’t be giving me the creep look! So when fukn Voldemort opens he’s creepy ass eyes he just fukn…. man. it’s just so depressing thinking about Voldemort… poor Voldy. never got to kill Harry Potter. Some say there’s an alternate universe where Voldemort conquered over all… But he didn’t. Poor, poor, voldy. The saddest creepiest little bitch anyone knew….. But Voldemort never cried. He just thought really hard. Cause he was fuckin Smart! Like Satan. Fukin Satan used to be all second in command to the universe and shit and empathised with poor little Voldy. Anyways that’s WAY the fuck off topic to the joke but whatever. so where was i… i haven’t even got to the punchline yet. hmm… let me just finish the joke. fuck. so! While all this Shit is going on, there are these creepy green ghosts flying around and of course, the cockroaches. Fukn Voldemort loved cockroaches because they reminded him of the biggest cocks in the world. And yes I am talking about roosters. Voldy loved to get up early in the morning with the roosters and watch the sun rise. This nigga stared at the sun until he went blind so, it was kind of understandable why Voldemort had some creepy eyes and yes, he was weird. All the evil people are still upset. Very very mad at Voldemort. So they argued for generations. Millions of years. And then they had a random staring contest. But fuckn Voldemort always won because he stared at the sun all the time. man. i always get to the punchline. But i’m feeling kind of sad for poor little voldy. I mean, not depressingly cuz voldemort IS an annoying little bitch. aaaanyways… *sigh* so yeah. ok now im on the verge of repeating myself, fuck. So then………this guy…this fukin random ass guy shows up with a sword. Like what the fuck…seriously! He was legendary too, but Hitler and Stalin were confused because he was good. Fuckin Aragorn from Lord of the Rings starts flailing his sword around all epically and shit, and all the evil dudes know this niggas a fictional character. They’re like, Seriously, how the fuck? What? Why are you here? And Aragorn be like, Dude! I need my army for the 3rd Lord of the Rings movie! Wanna come? Evil dudes: Fuck yeah! So Aragorn takes Hitler, all those motherfuckers, and the green ghosts to fight the orcs and shit and be all epic in the movie. But they lived a fantasy. And fukn Voldemort had the courage to stare at the sun and go blind. …and shit so Aragorn is gone, hitler is gone, Stalin……. fuck man Voldemort is depressed And his poor dementors don’t even know WHAT the fuck just happened. Voldy just stood there. Actually, he sat. Cause he liked to meditate. Fukn weird ass motherfucker. so. Voldy sat on his nice little pedestal and opened his eyes one last time. It was a stormy day in this dark place. Legends say God experiences times as if 1 day is 1000 years and 1000 years is a day. But fukn Voldermort? Time doesn’t exisit. Because he’s as old as the stars and watches them burn. He’s not the Grim Reaper. He just sits. Like a weird person. With his 3 arms (maybe 4 idk that guy IS pretty weird) and. On the sad day when the universe ended and all the stars had burned out. Voldemort shed a single tear and smiled for the first time in 1,000,556,223 years. And it was his birthday which was pretty cool. Fukn Stalin and Hitler can go live in a fukn fantasy. Voldemort..? man……………………. And then, after this momentous day…after the universe ended. It rained a different kind of rain. You could smell it in the air. And it was brown. Yup. You guessed it. Roosters. Because Voldemort loved cockroaches because they reminded him of being Fucked in the ass by Saddam Hussein. *cough* i mean, roosters. tldr: and is very depressed.
In regards to the new movie… Just asking that no one spoil it for me, seeing the movie without any preconceptions will help me get over how bad things have been recently. Hopefully Alvin and the Chipmunks is the masterpiece we’re all hoping for.
Cats & Movies What did the cat do when he didn’t want to watch the movie? He paws-ed it!
Thought of this while lying in bed this morning. (Works best told aloud.) Bacon, egg, and pancakes go see a movie together. The bacon sits up front. The pancakes sit in the middle. Where’s the egg sit? Same as the entrance, or to the left of the screen.
Christmas: One woman’s lie about a one night stand that got completely out of hand. Bacon, egg, and pancakes go see a movie together. The bacon sits up front. The pancakes sit in the middle. Where’s the egg sit? Same as the entrance, or to the left of the screen.
We have got a new baby Mary: We’ve got a new baby at our house. Terry: Is he going to stay? Mary: I guess so. He brought all his clothes. Willie: Dad, can I have $5 so I can go see Joey next door? Dad: Why do you need $5 to go to see Joey? Willie: Because his mother said he was at the movies!
Princess Leia thought about changing her maiden name **DON’T READ IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN STAR WARS VII (7)** **I don’t want to spoil the movie for anyone but I just saw it and I thought of this joke.** ___ Princess Leia thought about changing her maiden name, but it doesn’t matter, she’s Solo now.
I’m still disappointed that The Phantom Menace was never nominated for an Academy Award… …for Best Animated Film.
What does a sheep call a film it doesn’t like? a baaahhhd movie. ( )
Lol , Toilet (potty) Humour, funny A : Have you heard of the movie Constipation ? B: No — A: Obviously because it hasnt come out as yet .. LOL B: You are so fucking Stupid ..
I met a really unfriendly Christian outside the church the other day. Told me to call him Mr Bale and shut the fuck up during filming.
Why would they make a Hunger Games prequel movie? Does anyone want to watch a film about Trump getting elected?
A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, I did some schoolwork. The robot slaps the son. The son says, Okay, okay. I was at a friend’s house watching movies. The father asks, What movie did you watch? The son replies, Toy Story. The robot slaps the son. The son says, Okay, okay. We were watching porn. The father says, What? At your age I didn’t even know what porn was. The robot slaps the father. The mother laughs and says, Well, he certainly is your son! The robot slaps the mother.
A salesman calls to a house A salesman calls to a house and a young looking boy opens the door drinking a scotch and smoking a cigar. He hears the sound of an adult movie running on full blast in the backround. The salesman asks, How old are you son? The boy replies I just turned 10 The baffled salesman then asks Are your parents home? The kid ashes his cigar, takes a sip of his drink and calmly replies, Well what the fuck do *you* think?
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney Movies ? Disney Movies still touch kids
Police Academy jokes My nephew was in the Police Academy and one of his buddies asked if they wanted to go watch a movie. His friend – who was also in the academy at the time – responded, Let’s be cops.
A man walks into a bar with a big smile… – Why are you smiling? – You know about those train tracks near my house? Well, yesterday I was walking home when I see a woman tied to the tracks; I swear it looked just like one of those old movies, you know? I went next to her, released her, and took her to my place; and then we had some hardcore, hot steamy sex. Missionary, reverse cowgirl, doggy style, you name it. I’m hurt all over. – That’s awesome! Did she blow you too? – Nope, I couldn’t find her head.
I watch doomsday films like there’s no tomorrow. I watch doomsday films like there’s no tomorrow.
While doing some research about the Jar Jar Binks Sith theory, TIL George Lucas originally wanted Luke Skywalker to turn halfway thru Return of the Jedi, but then he would have spent half the movie facing the wrong way.
Osama Bin Laden tried his hand as a movie reviewer before settling on global terrorism… Unfortunately, he always gave films the same rating: 9/11.
Damn that lawnmower…. No matter how much I like a film, I can only give it one thumb up.
Rick Astley Will give you any movie in his Pixar collection except his favorite. He’s Never Gonna Give You Up.
bollywood horror bollywood horror movies are just bipasha basu doing a item no. with a third world actor
As an African-American, Iam shocked at how many black holidays we have here. We have Black Friday, Black history month, whenever a Tyler Perry movie comes out, etc
What’s black and white and red all over? A Communist film from the 30s.
Erectile dysfunction Tom had erectile dysfunction from years had gone to different doctors to resolve his problem but hadn’t been able to. The words spread over the village that a doctor had brought a miraculous medicine from overseas and could solve his problem. So he went to see the doctor and he prescribed him a teaspoon of the miraculous medicine before having sex.Happy about the fact that he could have sex with his wife after many year Tom drank the whole bottle before entering his house. He enters his house with a huge boner takes his wife from behind and start making love to her once, twice over the night and the following morning but he wanted more and more. His wife left the house in terror as she couldn’t go on.Tom proceeded masturbating but still wanted more and more so long story short armed with a gun he f*cked everyone in the village including children,man,nuns,priests and even cows,goats so pretty much everything that could move without being able to stop.Knowing his problem Tom went to the same doctor that prescribed the medicine to him asking for a solution. In the meantime the village gathered to discuss the big problem they had with Tom.So the doctor revealed Tom tha there was only one solution for his problem and he should take a car battery and connect the opposing poles to his penis. So Tom went out of the doctors office took the JumpStart cable and connected it to the tip and balls.As in the Frankenstein’s movie the people went to kill him with everything they could find. As the man got closer to Tom they heard a horrible screaming followed by the words RUN FOR YOUR LIVES HE IS RECHARGING IT . Sorry for the bad English not my native language.
Russia will eat Turkey for thanksgiving this year. Tom had erectile dysfunction from years had gone to different doctors to resolve his problem but hadn’t been able to. The words spread over the village that a doctor had brought a miraculous medicine from overseas and could solve his problem. So he went to see the doctor and he prescribed him a teaspoon of the miraculous medicine before having sex.Happy about the fact that he could have sex with his wife after many year Tom drank the whole bottle before entering his house. He enters his house with a huge boner takes his wife from behind and start making love to her once, twice over the night and the following morning but he wanted more and more. His wife left the house in terror as she couldn’t go on.Tom proceeded masturbating but still wanted more and more so long story short armed with a gun he f*cked everyone in the village including children,man,nuns,priests and even cows,goats so pretty much everything that could move without being able to stop.Knowing his problem Tom went to the same doctor that prescribed the medicine to him asking for a solution. In the meantime the village gathered to discuss the big problem they had with Tom.So the doctor revealed Tom tha there was only one solution for his problem and he should take a car battery and connect the opposing poles to his penis. So Tom went out of the doctors office took the JumpStart cable and connected it to the tip and balls.As in the Frankenstein’s movie the people went to kill him with everything they could find. As the man got closer to Tom they heard a horrible screaming followed by the words RUN FOR YOUR LIVES HE IS RECHARGING IT . Sorry for the bad English not my native language.
Bitty and Belly are sitting on the sidewalk A Mercedes drives by and its horn plays a familiar melody. Bitty asks, Is that from a movie? Belly replies, No, it’s a car tune.
Meow What do you call a cat who watches dirty movies? A purrvert.
Constipation Have you heard of the movie constipation? Probably not. It hasn’t come out yet.
List Of THE MOST Terrible Jokes i have ever found! Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was incredible! A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, I’ll serve You, but don’t start anything. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: A beer please, and one for the road. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: Does this taste funny to you? An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either. Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs! The doctor replied, I know. I amputated your arms! I went to a seafood disco last week… and pulled a mussel. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says Dam! My house wears clothing you know, it has address! I am so disgusting, even my nose smells. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick. WHATS GREEN AND HAS WHEELS? Grass, I lied about the wheels. A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation. How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family. What’s furry and has wheels? A cat, I lied about the wheels A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, What’ll it be? . The duck doesn’t say anything because its a duck. There’s an Irishman, a homosexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community! Why can’t Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human. Your momma’s so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease. What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing. A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks why the long face? . The horse replies My wife is dying of terminal cancer . Why did the little girl fall off the swings? She had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off the swings? She had no arms. If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic. Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. What has two legs, and is red all over? Half a cat. I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. A man goes to see the doctor. Doctor everything hurts when I touch it hmm, let me see. Touch your arm, does that hurt? yes doctor. Now when you touch your knee, does that hurt as well? Ouch, yes that hurts too Now if you touch your chest, how’s that? It hurts just as much doctor. Just as I thought: your finger’s broken. What did the pirate pay for his piercings? A buck an ear What’s green and brown, has six legs and will kill you if it jumps out of a tree on you? A snooker table. Did you hear about the brooms? They’re sweeping the nation! Have you heard about that movie Constipation? It hasn’t come out yet. How about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil. How about the really constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a calculator. It reminds me of something my grandfather said right before he kicked the bucket… He said how far do you think I can kick this bucket? Two parrots sat on a perch. One says to the other: Can you smell fish? …and the penguin says, he’s not an eggplant, he’s retarded! A fish is swimming along and runs into another fish. ‘Dumb bass’ the fish mutters. Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar? They each got 6 months. Did you hear about the corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines everywhere You cannot eat me unless you spread me. -Butter What did one Lawyer say to the other Lawyer? Were both Lawyers. Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick. You cannot play with me unless you blow me. -Balloon You cannot eat me unless you lick me. -Ice-cream You cannot taste me, until you undress me. -Banana
My teacher thought my essay on Brokeback Mountain was irrelevant to the class. But he said he wanted an essay about the male gays in film!
How do you make Ben Carson yell? Watch a movie with him.
After 10 years i have a hard on. A young guy was watching a threesome porn movie with 60 year old man. After some time suddenly old man was started jerking his hand in the air. The young boy asked what happened? Old man: After 10 years today my numb penis erected but my hand got numb.
A man and a woman are out on a date… They go to the movies and they’re at the concession stand. The cashier asks the woman if she wants the theaters new hotdog, popcorn, and soft drink special. She politely declines, Oh no I couldn’t, I’m a vegan. Anyway, they young couple goes into the theater and watch the movie. He has his arm around her and she’s been cozy the whole time. On the way home, he pulls over on a side road with a view of the night sky. She asks him why they’re pulled over. Well I just figured we had such a nice night, you know… He trails off. Just say it babe, what’s on your mind? She asks him. Blushing a little, he tells her, I think it’s time we took this to the next level, like maybe you could give me a blowjob? She shrieks and smacks him! HOW COULD YOU SAY SUCH A THING, YOU KNOW I DON’T EAT MEAT!
Things you could have done with the 15000 dollars you spent on a timeshare Buy 3000 Foot long sandwiches Commit a heinous act and hire a good lawyer to get you out of it (ie. murder) Go see a movie with 1000 friends Go see a movie 1000 times Buy 1363.63 boxes of name brand tissues to cry in because you don’t have friends to go to a movie with Buy 1 Jet Ski and Fly board water jetpack system Fly between Sydney and Dallas Fort worth 10.74 times Book 50 SUV Limos for up to 3 hours Build 12.5 really nice computers Buy 7500 normal cups of coffee Buy 3000 Starbucks cups of coffee Go see a Matinee with 1666.67 friends because it works better into their schedules Have 18.35 scoops of the worlds most expensive Ice-cream Go see the matinee 1666.67 times because no-one showed up Buy 375.18 crappy Elvis Presley costumes Buy 1 original copy of Robert Lewis Stevenson’s Treasure Island and then buy 342.85 scoops of New York Gelato to eat while you read it Buy 1 tank of gas Buy 9146.34 sharpies Buy 2,542,372.88 canary yellow sticky notes Buy 11.7 wedding dresses Buy 75,376.88 ounces of Cocoa Puffs Turn a car into the Adam West Bat-mobile Buy a Taiwanese Mail-Order bride and spend the remaining $5000 on the wedding Pay off that debt you owe to the strange Russian businessman who helped you out of that murder trial. Fly to Vegas ($118) get a high end hooker (~$5000), Get beat up by the russian mob after being alone with the hooker that was actually a russian mob agent (free) and spend the rest of the money on 49.41 low end vegas hookers Buy a personal Hovercraft Buy a bed that is shaped like a viking ship Buy an original Jumpsuit from ghostbusters and then buy 1 Starbucks coffee Buy a wall sized scrabble board to play with your friends and hire a higher end but not quite, vegas hooker ($3000) to pretend to be your friend while you play scrabble Buy 30,612.24 stamps Buy 27.82 Model 642 LaserMax Smith and Wesson Revolvers to end it all Realize that life is worth living ($200 for either a therapist or a low end hooker, they’ll accomplish the same thing) 75 times Buy 125,000 trash bags to throw away the guns Seeing the sunrise – $priceless on your timeshare $15000
Pig at the Movies A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a pig sitting next to him. Are you a pig? asked the man, surprised. Yes. replies the Pig. What are you doing at the movies? asks the man. and the pig replied, Well, I liked the book. source: http://www.jokes4us.com/animaljokes/pigjokes.html
When I was a kid I wanted to become a pirate, and sail the open seas. But instead, I just ended up downloading a lot of movies.
A man from Moscow decides to move to a new collective farm in Siberia. His family is excited at the possibility of leaving their cramped flat in the city for a nice country house, but they have heard mixed things about the new Siberian farms so the man agrees to go on his own first, and write back to let them know if they should follow him or not. They know the government censors will read the letter, so they agree in advance to use a simple code: anything written in blue ink is true, but anything in red ink actually means the opposite of what it says. A few weeks later, the family receives a letter from the man. It reads, all in blue ink: Siberia is amazing! The winter isn’t as bad as people say, I was given a huge three story dacha with a private garden all to myself, the work hours are short, the stores are practically overflowing with fresh food, luxury goods, even the latest movies and music from the West. But the only thing you can’t get here is red ink. Edit: Formatting.
I like going to the movies by myself… Of course, if I had friends I’d prefer to go with them. Anyways, I never bother to turn my phone off at the movies. I mean, it’s not like anyone’s going to call me.
Sex with homeless people is in-tents. Of course, if I had friends I’d prefer to go with them. Anyways, I never bother to turn my phone off at the movies. I mean, it’s not like anyone’s going to call me.
Research suggests that money can buy happiness. The caveat to this is that the money should be spent on experiences rather than objects. So you see officer, I wasn’t soliciting that prostitute. I was just asking it for directions to the movie theater.
I broke up with my girlfriend today Now I need to buy that movie again!
Firefighters One night outside a small town in Southern Ireland, a fire started inside the local chemical plant. In the blink of an eye, it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all fire departments for miles around. When the fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, All our secret formulas are in the vault in the centre of the plant. They must be saved. I’ll give 50,000 Euros to the fire department that brings them out intact. But the roaring flames held the fire-fighters off. Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now 100,000 Euros to the fire department who could save the company’s secret files. From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the nearby rural township volunteer Fire Company composed mainly of men over the age of 65. To everyone’s amazement, the little broken-down fire engine roared right past all the sleek newer engines that were parked outside the plant. Without even slowing down, it drove straight into the middle of the inferno. Outside, the other firemen watched in amazement and disbelief as the old timers jumped off right in the middle of the fire and fought it back on all sides. It was a performance and effort never seen before. Within a short time, the old timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas. The grateful chemical company president announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to 200,000 Euros, and walked over to thank each of the brave fire fighters personally. The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on film, asking their chief, What are you going to do with all that money? Well, said Paddy Murphy, the 70-year-old fire chief, Da foist ting we’re gonna do is fix da brakes on dat fecking truck !
A beautiful, sheltered girl just turned 18…. She is absolutely beautiful. 10 out of 10 knock-out. Her father has always been very strict and kept her very sheltered her whole life. The night of her 18th birthday she musters up some courage and comes downstairs in a flirty dress… Daughter: Daddy, I am going out with my friends for my birthday tonight. Father: Absolutely not Daughter: Please daddy! You never let me do anything fun. I just want to go out and have fun with my friends and I’ll be home by midnight. Father: No. Go upstairs. Daughter (now crying): I hate you! You never let me do anything fun! Father: Fine. You know what? If you want to go out tonight, you have to come over here and suck my dick. Daughter: Daddy…what….what did you say? Father: Yeah if you want to go out with your friends tonight then you have to come over here and blow me. Daughter: No! That is awful! The daughter starts back up the stairs but stops halfway….. Daughter: Fine. I’ll do it. The daughter proceeds to go down on her dad. It’s weird but she’s getting through it. About 30 seconds in she slows down and stops and sniffs around a little. Daughter: Daddy…wait. Somethings wrong…your dick…..your dick stinks. It smells like shit. Father: Yeah don’t worry about it. Your little brother wanted to go to the movies this afternoon.
A man suspects his kid is skipping school… A man suspects his kid is skipping school during the day. He buys a robot that slaps anyone who tells a lie, and sits it down at the table with his kid and wife. He asks his son, Where were you during first period today, Jimmy? The kid says, School, of course! The robot slaps the kid. The dad says, Really Jimmy, where were you during first period today? The kid says At my friends house, watching a movie. The robot is still. The dad asks, What movie were you 2 watching? The kid says We were watching Toy Story, dad! The robot slaps the kid again. Tell me the truth, what movie were you 2 watching? The kid admits, We watched a porno called Anal Avengers 4. Surprised, the dad says Youre skipping school to watch porn movies?! I didnt even know what porn was at your age! . The robot slaps the dad. The mom starts laughing and says Well, he *is* your son, honey! . The robot slaps the mom.
I’m looking for a joke I heard a monologue once on the radio here in the UK. The monologue is in a film noir style and I’m pretty sure it starts with I was working on a case. I was working on a case because I couldn’t afford a desk and has other lines such as A tall Blonde walked past the window, I knew she was tall because I was on the 13th floor. She rolled her eyes at me. I picked them up and rolled them back Anybody know the author/ full joke?
So some Mexican lady named Patricia listened to the new Adele and cried so much she’s flooding Mexico I heard a monologue once on the radio here in the UK. The monologue is in a film noir style and I’m pretty sure it starts with I was working on a case. I was working on a case because I couldn’t afford a desk and has other lines such as A tall Blonde walked past the window, I knew she was tall because I was on the 13th floor. She rolled her eyes at me. I picked them up and rolled them back Anybody know the author/ full joke?
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