Three pregnant women, a blonde, brunette, and red head are at their obstetrician to find out the sex of their babies. The brunette says, I’m going to have a boy because I was on top. The red head says, Well that means I’m going to have a girl because I was on bottom. Just then the blonde starts crying her eyes out. What’s wrong? the other two say. I’m going to have puppies!
Brunette goes to a doctor A brunette (naturally blonde though) goes into a doctor’s office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. Again?, says the doctor. Show me. She takes her finger, presses on her elbow, and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams, and so it goes on; everywhere she touches makes her scream with pain. The doctor says, Hmmm, and your finger isn’t broken? She says, No, I checked that this time. Interesting, he says. It’s your other finger. And in the version of the joke we all really want: A brunette (naturally blonde though) goes into a doctor’s office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. Again, again!?, says the doctor. Show me. She takes her finger, presses on her elbow, and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams, and so it goes on; everywhere she touches makes her scream with pain. The doctor says, Hmmm, and your finger isn’t broken? She says, No, I checked that this time. Both of them! Interesting, he says. I’m going to play with your vagina now. OK!, says the blonde, as she starts screaming and moaning in a mix of pleasure and pain.
blonde joke Why are there so many dumb blonde jokes? it gives brunnettes and redheads something to do on friday and saturday nights!
What is white and gold and black and blue? A blonde in a physically abusive relationship. See you guys in hell.
my new password During a recent at a University password audit, it was found that a Blonde student was using the following password: MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyTallahassee When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one Capital.
Progeria jokes get old real quick. During a recent at a University password audit, it was found that a Blonde student was using the following password: MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyTallahassee When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one Capital.
A Blonde,Brunette,and a Redhead.. A Blonde,Brunette,and a Redhead decide to check their daughters bags, All 3 of them found condoms in their respective daughters bags. The Brunette was stunned and said : We’re a catholic family, It is a sin to have premarital sex The Redhead said Its Good to see my girl is using protection, Because prevention is better than cure ! . The Blonde said: OH MY GOD, MY DAUGHTER HAS A PENIS EDIT: THANK ALL OF YOU FOR POSITIVE COMMENTS. IM GLAD THAT I COULD MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH. WILL COME UP WITH MORE JOKES FOR ALL YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE. LOVE ALL OF YOU 🙂
Blonde, Brunette, And Redhead stuck on an island As they are stuck on the island, one of the girls notices that, in the distance, there is some continental land. The Redhead decides to swim, saying she could make it. She swims for about an hour before succumbing to exhaustion and drowning at five miles. The Brunette waits, think she sees a boat, and decides to swim out to meet it. About four or five hours into her swim, she realizes that there is no boat, gives up, and drowns at about thirteen miles. The blonde, not having anyone to talk to, decides that the other selfish notches left her there, so she swims towards the mainland. She sees a few spots where some birds were flying in circles and thinks nothing of it. After about six hours of swimming, she gets tired, and swims back. She was two miles from the mainland.
A brunette, a readhead and a blonde come across a wide river they need to pass… Not being any bridge, they have to get past it by swimming. First goes the brunette, she swims a quarter of the river, she gets tired and drowns. Second is the readhead, she swims halfway the river, she gets tired and drowns. And lastly goes the blonde. She swims three quarters of the river, gets tired and swims back at the shore where she started so she won’t drown. Poorly translated from romanian
Brunette goes to the doctor A brunette goes into a doctor’s office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. Impossible, says the doctor. Show me. She takes her finger, presses on her elbow, and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams, and so it goes on; everywhere she touches makes her scream with pain. The doctor says, You’re not really a brunette are you? She says, No, I dyed my hair. I’m naturally blonde. I thought so, he says. Your finger is broken.
Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake One blonde yells to the other How do I get to the other side?! The other blonde responds You are on the other side!
A Frenchman, an American, and a blond get captured by a group of terrorists The terrorists explain that they will be generous and allow the prisoners to choose their own method of execution. The Frenchman is up first. He says I am French and wish to stick with my heritage! I choose the guillotine! They set up a guillotine and SLAM goes the blade. His head falls in to the basket and they carry off his body. The American is up next. He says I want to stick to my American traditions, I choose the electric chair. They rig up an electric chair and SLAM goes the switch. The chair shorted and caused a blackout in the facility, sparing the American. You are lucky, American. You have been spared by our God and may go free. So they let the American walk. The blonde is up last. Well, says the blonde, The electric chair didn’t work, so I guess I’ll take the guillotine.
Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months? Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months? Because on the box it said From 2 to 4 years.
A blonde, a brunette, and a red head are running from the cops… when the ladies duck into the proverbial farmhouse off the main road to hide. They see three huge wooden barrels, and each climb into one to hide. Moments later the cops bust down the door and begin their search. They see the first barrel (with the brunette hiding inside) and kick it to see if anything’s inside when they hear… Woof! … Woof!… Meh – just an old dog. They kick the second barrel (with the red head hiding inside) when they hear… Meow! … Meow!… Meh – just a stupid cat. They kick the third barrel (with the blonde hiding inside) when they hear… Po-ta-to! … Po-ta-to!
A blonde, brunette, and a red head go to summer camp and they can only bring one thing.. The red head brings a deck of cards, to keep herself entertained. The brunette brings her homework, to get it done and live stress free. The blonde brings a car door, so she can roll down her window if she gets hot.
A blonde and her dad are walking down the street… the dad tells her daughter Look a dead bird! The blonde looks up and says Where? __________________________________________________________________________________________ (don’t know if this is a repost or not, but just remembered this joke I heard a long time ago and decided to share it)
A blonde, out of money, and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately… To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, I’ve kidnapped you. She then wrote a big note saying, I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides, on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde. The blonde then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning, the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, How could you do this to a fellow blonde?
Two programmers walk into a bar: a blond, a brunette and a red head.
The Logician Two men were sitting in a bar one night looking over at a well dressed man standing at the opposite end of the bar. One of the men said I bet he’s a Doctor whilst the other man says I bet he’s a Lawyer . Eventually one of the men decides to go and ask him, otherwise it will bug them all night. He goes over to the man and introduces himself. Hi there, me and my friend were just wondering what you do for a living The man says I’m a Logician Man: A Logician? Logician: Yes, I use logic to find things out about people. Man: Ah I see! Could you try it on me? Logician: Ok, firstly, do you have a goldfish? Man: Yes I do. Logician: Well logic would tell me that you either keep it in a tank or a pond, which is it? Man: A pond. Logician: Well logic would tell me that by having a pond, you must have quite a large garden. Man: Yes it’s a decent size. Logician: Well logic would tell me that if you have a big garden, you must have quite a large house? Man: Yes I’ve got a 4 bedroom house in a nice area of town. Logician: Well logic would tell me that with a big house and a big garden, you must drive a nice car? Man: Yes I drive a nice Mercedes. Logician: Well logic would tell me that with a nice car, big house and big garden that you have an attractive wife? Man: Yes, she is beautiful, blonde hair and big breasts, perfect Logician: Well logic would tell me that with a pretty wife, a big car, a big house and big garden, that you have a good sex life? Man: Yep! 4 nights a week at least! Logician: Well logic would tell me that with a good sex life, an attractive wife, a nice car, a big house and a big garden, you don’t masturbate very often? Man: No, never! Logician: Well there we go, that is what I do. By asking you the simple question of if you owned a goldfish, I have been able to determine everything about you from your house size to your sex life! Man: Wow, that’s amazing. Thanks for explaining to me what it is you do, it was very interesting! The man makes his way back to his friend, who is now very intrigued about what the man does. So, what does he do then ? He’s a Logician What the hell is a Logician ? Well let me ask you this, do you own a goldfish ? No You’re a wanker then !
The Blonde in Church An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, ‘Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. ‘This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian Family.’ No one moved. The preacher continued, ‘Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression.’ Again all was quiet. Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic… rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, ‘Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets.’ The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the Congregation roared.
Blondes & Snow. A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn’t panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. And she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, Well, I’m done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now? 😀
What’s the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? One stops sucking when you slap it and the other is a blonde.
A blonde, a priest, a pilot and a student on a crashing plane A blonde woman, a priest, a pilot, and a high schooler are all on a crashing plane. There are only enough parachutes to save three of them, and the pilot is the first to jump out. He grabs a parachute and says, I’m a pilot! People need me to fly planes! and then jumps out. The blonde is next to jump out. She grabs a parachute and says, My hair won’t look pretty if I’m dead! and then jumps out. The priest then says to the high schooler, Son, I’ve lived my life to its fullest and I am surely ready to join God in heaven. The high schooler then hands a parachute to the priest and puts another parachute on himself. The priest is shocked and asks the high schooler, Oh Lord! Where did you find this extra parachute? The high schooler replies, The blonde lady took my backpack!
Doctor’s bad day There was this doctor working one day, everything was going by as usual. then this beautiful blonde girl shows up, the doctor was stunned by how hot she was, he had to get into her pants. Ok, I like for you to take your shirt off said the doctor, the girl does and the doctor starts rubbing her thighs You know what I am doing ? ask the doctor, yeah you’re checking for abnormalities she respond. next the doctor tells her to take her bra off, she does, and he starts rubbing her boobs you know what I am doing now said the doctor yeah, you’re checking for breast cancer finally, he goes for it, he rips off her pants, throws her on the table and starts having sex with her, you know what I am doing now, said the doctor. the girl replys yeah, you’re getting herpes and that’s way I’m here.
If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest? There was this doctor working one day, everything was going by as usual. then this beautiful blonde girl shows up, the doctor was stunned by how hot she was, he had to get into her pants. Ok, I like for you to take your shirt off said the doctor, the girl does and the doctor starts rubbing her thighs You know what I am doing ? ask the doctor, yeah you’re checking for abnormalities she respond. next the doctor tells her to take her bra off, she does, and he starts rubbing her boobs you know what I am doing now said the doctor yeah, you’re checking for breast cancer finally, he goes for it, he rips off her pants, throws her on the table and starts having sex with her, you know what I am doing now, said the doctor. the girl replys yeah, you’re getting herpes and that’s way I’m here.
A blonde and a redhead A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram. She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word comfortable. Skeptical, the operator asks, How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word? The redhead replies, She’s a blonde so she reads slow: ‘Come for ta bull.’
Blonde walks up to a river… And sees another blonde over the river. She yells How do I get to the other side? The other blonde looks the river up and down and says You ARE on the other side Edit: Grammar.
The clear coast A married couple is in bed asleep when the phone rings at 2AM. The blonde wife answers and listens for a second and then shouts into the phone, How should I know that’s 150 miles from here!!! At that the husband rolls over and asks who was that? The wife replied, I don’t know, some dumb woman wanting to know if the coast is clear!
There was a Brunette , Redhead and a blonde getting ready for Execution. The Brunette was marched to her final place, the firing squad’s guns on her. The commander said Ready Aim then the Brunette screamed EARTHQUAKE , the firing squad looked around, and the brunette ran away and escaped. The Redhead was marched to her final place, the firing squad’s guns on her. The commander said Ready Aim then the Readhead screamed TORNADO! , the firing squad looked around, and the readhead ran away and escaped. The Blonde was marched to her final place, the firing squad’s guns on her. The commander said Ready Aim then the Blonde then thought of her disaster, thought of one, then screamed FIRE!!
Be careful what you ask for! A Scotsman was strolling across High Street one day wearing his kilt. As he neared the far curb, he noticed two young blondes in a red convertible eyeing him and giggling. One of them called out, Hey, Scotty! What’s worn under the kilt? He strolled over to the side of the car and asked, Ach, lass, are you SURE you want to know? Somewhat nervously, the blonde replied yes, she did really want to know. The Scotsman leaned closer and confided, Why, lass, nothing’s worn under the kilt, everything’s in perfect workin’ order!
Two guys sit down on a train… Two men sit down on a train, in the same cabin, and begin reading the newspaper. When they look up, they make eye contact, and both realize, they each had a black eye. Both men start to chuckle, and decided to exchange stories Guy1: …Yeah, I really got it. Guy2: Me too! What happened? Guy1: Well, I went up to the ticket counter for the express train today. Guy2: Yeah? Guy1: And there was a beautiful blonde, young female, with huge cans. Guy1: So, I went up to her and instead of saying ‘i need a ticket for pittsburgh’ Guy1: I said ‘Excuse me maim, Can I get a picket for titsburg’. Guy2: Oh, you dog you. Guy1: Honest mistake, I am a sucker for blondes. Guy2: I’m Sure Guy1: So what’s your deal? Guy2: Well, similar story actually. Guy1: No Way! Guy2: Yeah, Yeah Guy2: So, I went downstairs to eat some breakfast with my wife. Guy2: You know normal day Guy2 And instead of saying ‘Pass the cheerios hun’ I said ‘You ruined my life you stupid bitch.’
A blonde lady needs cash.. A blonde lady is in need of some extra cash, so she decides to do work for her neighbourhood. She approached a wealthy mans door and asked if he needed any house work done. The man replied, Yes in fact I do, I need my porch painted, handing her a bucket of paint and a brush. He closed the door and chuckled to his wife. She asked him if the girl knew the porch went around the house. Of course not, he replied. Five minutes later the blonde came back and handed him the paintbrush back. He handed her the money and curiously asked her how she finished so fast. She said, Im a hard worker, and started to leave. Right before she left the driveway she called out to the man, By the way, that’s not a Porsche, that’s a Ferrari!
Blonde joke Blonde: What does IDK stand for? Brunette: I don’t know. Blonde: OMG, like, nobody does!
A handsome man is drowning his sorrows at a local pub. Several women try to comfort him… What’s wrong? , one asks. I’m depressed! , he sighs, The wife and I are having troubles. What kind? Sex. I like kink. She’s very traditional . Well, another woman says, if you want kink, talk to the blonde at the other end of the bar. She’s kinky. She’ll make you feel better. He walks over to meet the blonde. They have a couple of drinks, she invites him home. When they arrive, she excuses herself to change into something appropriate. She goes to bedroom, and puts on leather panties, gets whips, chains, tit clamps, etc. All geared up, she goes out to living room, where she sees that the man he has put overcoat on and is leaving….. Hey, what’s the matter? she asks. I thought we were going to have a scene? Hey lady, I shit in your purse; I fucked your dog; I’m outta here.
A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead all walk into an elevator… The three had just got back to work from there weekly lunch together. As they get in the elevator they notice something on the wall.. Is that cum? asks the blonde The redhead goes over to it, touches it, and says yup, definitely cum Next the brunette goes up to it, smells it, looks really close, and says your right, it totally is cum Lastly the blonde goes up to it, tastes it, and says huh, weird, no one from our building
Actress commits suicide Person A: Did you hear about that actress that killed herself the other day? Person B: No, who? Person A: That girl…Reese…something? From Legally blonde? Person B: Witherspoon? Person A: No no, she did it with a knife.
A Mathematician and an Engineer… A mathematician and an engineer are standing about 20 feet away from an absolutely gorgeous blonde woman who is eyeing them both seductively. She says to them, Every time you approach me, you may only travel half the distance between us. Will you ever reach me? The mathematicitian says, No, I’d never be able to reach you. The engineer smiles and says, Close enough.
In addition to asking presidential candidates for birth certificates, they definitely need to start asking this. In a high school civics class, they were discussing the qualifications for becoming President of the United States. The requirements are pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen and at least 35 years old. A blonde girl in the class piped up and began complaining about how unfair it was to require the candidate to be a natural born citizen. In her opinion, that made it impossible for many qualified people to run for the office. She went on and on, wrapping up her argument with What makes a natural born citizen more qualified to be President than one born by C-Section?
Dumb Blonde Joke A man wanted to prove that blondes were not dumb, so he went to a mall. He asked one blonde to come up on stage. What’s 2+2 he asked. She answered with 7. Incorrect. he said. Give her another chance! the other blondes chanted. Alright, what’s 2+2? She answered with 22 this time. Again, incorrect! the man said. Give her another chance! the blondes demanded. He asked her the same question. 4? she answered. Give her another chance! yelled the blondes.
Tell me, what part of my body is the greatest? A man had just moved inn, in a new apartment on the 5th floor. One morning, he was going to get his mail on the first floor. When he arrived, he saw a beautiful, blond woman, getting her mail as well. She was wearing an almost transparent morning robe, and the man started to blush. The woman saw the man and approached him. So… are you new in the building? She smiled, while stroking her hair. Yes, I just moved in on the 5th floor the man stuttered. Upon closer look, he could see that the blonde wasn’t wearing any underwear. She saw that the man was now sweating. He could see her body beneath the robe! She had a perfect body. Nice round tits, slim waist and long beautiful legs. I hear someone coming, do you want to come inn and get a cup of coffee? The man nodded, and followed the blonde to her apartment. Once inside, she slid of her robe. Now completely naked, she turned to the man and said: Do you like what you see? Yes Said the man, exhausted! What part of my body is the greatest? She whispered. Your ears He said. My ears? She was unsettled by his answer. What about my tits, my legs, my beautiful ass? I have the body of a goddess, and you say my ears are the greatest? Yes, your body is the most beautiful I have ever seen, but when you said you heard someone coming… Go on… she said with an angry tone. That was me! I take no credit for the joke, I just found it hilarious when I heard it from a friend 😉 I tried to spell check this, sorry if any mistakes fell through…
An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake… He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, ‘Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?’ The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things: 1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. 2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a ‘Billy-Club’. 3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter. 5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy…. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke? The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters quietly No…not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times…
Red head says to blonde – I feel so dirty…. ….I slept with a Brazilian! . Blonde says – Oh, you little slut puppy, you! Hey – I forgot….how many is a Brazilian?
Blonde at the Superbowl A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it. Oh, I really liked it, she replied, especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents. Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, What do you mean? Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was… ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like…Helloooooo? It’s only 25 cents!
Blonde Betrayal A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, I`ve kidnapped you. She then wrote a note saying, I`ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde. The Blonde then taped the note to the kid`s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?
An old man marries his young girlfriend… …and naturally everyone is skeptical about the legitimacy of this relationship. He’s wrinkled and arthritic, and she’s a hot young blond barely into her 20’s. His brother asks, How can you keep up with her in the bedroom? He puffs out his skinny old-man chest and says My skin may be wrinkled, but my heart’s still young. Soon enough, his wife announces she’s pregnant. The old man, having never had children of his own before, is thrilled. His sister asks him, You’re old enough to be this kid’s great-grandfather, how are you going to keep up? He squares his bony shoulders and says, The years may have shrunk me, but pride is what keeps a man tall. Nine months later, his wife gives birth, and a nurse comes into the waiting room to give him the good news. When she sees him, she’s obviously flabbergasted, but informs him, Congratulations, sir, your wife just had twins. The old man smiles proudly, runs a hand through his thin, white hair and says, I may have snow on the roof, but I still got fire in the furnace! The nurse shakes her head. You better change your filters, sir, because both babies are black.
What does IDK stand for? Blonde: What does IDK stand for? Brunette: I don’t know. Blonde: OMG, nobody does!
A blonde comes home from school and says Mummy, mummy, all the other girls in my class can only count to 10 but I can count to 20. Is it because I’m blonde? Her mother replies: Yes dear, it’s because you’re blonde. The next day the blonde comes home from school and says: Mummy, mummy, all the other girls in my class can’t recite the alphabet, but I can. Is it because I’m blonde? Yes dear, it’s because you’re blonde The next day she comes home and says: Mummy, mummy, today we were getting changed for gym class and all the other girls had flat chests but I had these. She points to her breasts. Is it because I’m blonde? No dear, it’s because you’re 25.
A young blonde comes home from school A young blonde comes home from school and asks her mother, Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies come out of the same place where boys put their thingies? Yes, dear, replied her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn’t have to explain it. But then when I have a baby, won’t it knock my teeth out?
A blonde goes into a nearby store A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn’t serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn’t serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn’t serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, How in the world do you know I am a blonde? The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says, That’s not a TV, it’s a microwave!
How do you keep an AssHole in suspense? A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn’t serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn’t serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn’t serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, How in the world do you know I am a blonde? The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says, That’s not a TV, it’s a microwave!
