A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, Robert doesn’t appreciate what I do for him. Now, now, her mother comforted, I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding. No, mother, you don’t understand. I bought a frozen turkey rolTearful Bride
yelling hey at her horses He calls out and asks why are you yelling at your horses? The blonde replies I’m trying to feed them!A farmer hears a blonde
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is goA Blonde Paints Her House
One day a blonde walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt. The doctor asks her what had happened. She says, well… when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I mistakenly picked up the iron instead of the phone. Well that explainsA blond walks into a doctors office
I got a compliment on my driving today, said a blonde to her friend. There was a note left on my windshield it said parking fine .A blonde said to her friend while driving
An airplane is flying through the air across the Atlantic when the pilot realizes that there are five women holding on to the wings; four blondes and a brunette. The pilot proceeds to yell at the women and says that the plane can only land if there are twoAnother blonde joke to top off the list.
Why are blond jokes so short? So men can remember them.In light of all the recent blond jokes…
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were all stuck on an island with cannibals. The cannibals said, if you do what we say, we wont kill you . so the 3 girls followed the orders the cannibals. So the cannibals said, go into the forest and pick 10 fruits oA blond, a brunette, and a redhead were all stuck on an island with cannibals
A brunette that’s told one too many blonde jokes.What’s brown, black and blue and lays at the bottom of a ditch?
Handjob: $5 Cheese sandwich: $2 He walks over to the bartender, a big boobied blonde, and asks, Are you the one giving out handjobs? Why yes I am! , she replied, smiling and sticking out her chest. Okay, he said. Now wash your handsA man walks into the bar and sees a sign:
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively morBlonde is pulled over by a blonde cop..
And is looking for a nice new television. She spots a really nice looking one in the shop and asks one of the employees how much it costs. The employee answers: i’m sorry ma’m we can’t sell it to you. The blonde angrily leaves the store but returns theA blonde enters an electronics shop
And is looking for a nice new television. She spots a really nice looking one in the shop and asks one of the employees how much it costs. The employee answers: i’m sorry ma’m we can’t sell it to you. The blonde angrily leaves the store but returns theI always wanted to be a plumber when I grew up but in the end it was just a pipe dream.
And is looking for a nice new television. She spots a really nice looking one in the shop and asks one of the employees how much it costs. The employee answers: i’m sorry ma’m we can’t sell it to you. The blonde angrily leaves the store but returns theIt’s not the principle, it’s the money. Spike Milligan RIP
On a long flight a scientist ends up sitting next to a blonde. Bored and looking for a bit of amusement the scientist starts chatting with the blonde and realizes that she is dumb as rocks. Once the plane is in the air the scientist offers to play a game wA blonde sits next to a scientist…
A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn’t have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, I’m blonde, I’m smart, I have a gBlonde boards a airplane
An elderly man died and went to purgatory. There he ran into a friend his age, who is accompanied by a luscious young blonde. I’m happy for you, Steve , said the new arrival. At least you’re getting a partial reward in this place while you expiate youI read this joke in a 1974 Playboy magazine today.
A naked blonde doing cartwheels.What goes blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette?
Blonde: What does IDK mean? Brunette: I don’t know. Blonde: NOBODY DOES!!!Blonde joke…
Hey, asked the brunette at the wheel, see any cops following us? The blonde turned around for a long look. As a matter of fact, I do. Oh, NOOOO! yelled the brunette. Are his flashers on? The blonde turned around again. Yup…nope…yup…nope…yTwo girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour….
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down thA blonde woman is speeding…
The blonde is ecstatic, squeeing and showing off her flowers to everyone in her office, talking about how fantastic her boyfriend is. The brunette is more subdued, leaving the flowers on her desk but otherwise not really happy about it. What’s the matter,A blonde and a brunette both receive flowers one day…
One day, all the blondes in America got fed up about being mocked for their lack of intelligence. Therefore, they decided to hold the first annual Blondes Are Not Dumb conference to show the world that they were not actually dumb. To that end, they invitA Conference of Blondes
A blonde is roller-skating down the board-walk one day. She’s just skating along in her lycra pants, smiling at everyone, listening to her Walkman. She decides that she really needs a haircut. She skates into the first salon she sees and goes up to the haA blonde is roller-skating down the board-walk one day.
So a blind older gentleman stumbles into a all lesbian bar. They see he is older and blind so they let him stay and have a few drinks. The blind man ask’s the bartender You want to hear a blonde joke? The bartender replies Well, I am a blonde, the womaA blind man walks into a lesbian bar.
A young blonde woman working in a bakery wakes up late for work one day and throws on last nights clothes before rushing out to work. On the way to work she really started to regret her outfit, her skirt was too short and her underwear really left nothinRaisin’ Bread
So this blonde is at an airport and she needs a flight to New York from California. She goes up to the desk and asks if there are any tickets left. The flight attendant tells her that she is very sorry but they are all sold out. The blonde begs for any waySo this blonde is at an airport…
A neighbor rushes over to comfort her but the blond isn’t in distress. Being confused, the neighbor says Your house is burning to the ground, why aren’t you more worried? . The blond responds It’s ok, I have plenty of wood in the attic, I can just rebA blond comes home to see her house on fire…
A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes…A guy driving with a blonde
A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes…The Unemployed Engineer
and is pulled over by a blonde police officer. Cop: You were going pretty fast back there. Can I see some ID please? Driver:
I must have left it home. Cop: Well, do you have anything with your picture on it? Driver:A blonde is speeding down the highway…
Three blondes were walking through a forest when they came across a set of tracks. They stopped, bewildered, wondering what animal could have made them. The first blonde says, I know, those are moose tracks. The second blonde goes, no, those are bear trThree blondes were walking through a forest…
One blonde says to the other, how did you die ? I froze to death, says the second. That’s awful says the first blonde. How does it feel to freeze to death? It’s very uncomfortable at first, says the second blonde. You get the shakes, and you getTwo blondes are in heaven.
A blonde & her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor’s dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours & hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, I’ve had enough of this. She goes downstairs. The blonde finally comesDealing with a Barking Dog
A blonde was rushed to the hospital with a bullet wound in her index finger. Doctor: how did this happen? Blonde: I tried to suicide. Doctor: you shot your finger for suicide? Blonde: No, I shot in my ear. But just before pulling the trigger, I realizA blonde was rushed to the hospital
A blind man walks into a bar and sits down. He says to the bartender, Hey, do you wanna hear a blonde joke? The bartender leans in and says, Sir, because you’re blind, I’m going to offer you some advice. The blonde lady in the corner, she is a traineA blind man walks into a bar…
A blonde woman returns from work to see that her house has been ransacked and burglarized. She telephones the police straight away and reports the crime. The police dispatcher broadcasts the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, is the firsBlonde finds that her house has been burglarized…
A ginger, a brunette, and a blonde rob a bank. They make their getaway on foot, but the police are quick to arrive and make chase. The bank robbers make a wrong turn down an alley and find themselves at a dead end. They furiously look around for a place tThe Bank Robbery
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?Canine Names
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?God.
A blonde complains to a brunette friend that her Internet is down. The brunette friend offers to let the blonde check her e-mail at her house. That’s OK, says the blonde. Why don’t you check it and forward me what I got?BLONDE’S CONNECTION DOWN
When a female officer, another blonde, spots her and pulls her over. She asks the driver for her license… Blonde driver says, What’s that? Blonde Officer : Its a square with your face on it. The blonde driver ruffles through her bag and after a feA blonde is speeding down the highway…
There are 100 steps to heaven, the first girl goes up, and gets to the 30th step, the next women goes to the and gets to the 67 step, then the dirty blond goes and gets to the 99th step and loses there, the other girls say why didn’t you go to the 100th stDirty Blonde Joke Heaven!
I was chatting to this attractive blonde in a bar and we started hitting things off. I then asked her for her number. She agreed, and gave me 04555-55555. Just to make sure I asked her again, are you sure this is your number? To which she replied ‘Yeah’ AGetting a girls number
The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ”Shut up…you’re next!”A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own h
3 Blondes (or brunettes or men) are all standing around examining tracks. The first one says, Those are deer tracks. The second one replies, No they are not, they are bear tracks Then they are all hit by a train!!!Animal Tracks
Another blond this time. Miranda LambertA new musical artist…
John spots 2 of his blonde girl-firends playing Chess, and asks if he can join them. They replied that they are just beginners and he would easily beat them. Determined to play, John suggests that they can team up against him. Still doubtful about the equaA game of Chess
A blonde lady was stuck in a snowstorm when she remembered her dad’s advice: If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait until a snowplow drives by and then follow it. Eventually she saw a snowplow so she followed it along in her car. After 30 minutes, thFollow the leader
A blonde lady was stuck in a snowstorm when she remembered her dad’s advice: If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait until a snowplow drives by and then follow it. Eventually she saw a snowplow so she followed it along in her car. After 30 minutes, thYour life
