Why California is broke and Texas is not. The governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the governor’s dog, then bites the governor. The governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie Bambi and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural. He calls animal control. Animal control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 for testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the state $200 for testing it for diseases. The governor goes to the hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and getting his bite wound bandaged. The running trail gets shut down for six months while the California Fish and Game Department conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals. The governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a ‘coyote awareness program’ for residents of the area. The Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world. The governor’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training, re: the nature of coyotes. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) protests the coyote’s relocation and files a $5 million suit against the state. The governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and tries to attack him and his dog. The governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The governor spent 50 cents on a .380-caliber, hollow-point cartridge. Buzzards ate the dead coyote. And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not. Source: http://economy.money.cnn.com/2012/10/10/california-texas-richard-fisher/
An Indian Boy Goes To His Dad… … and asks how indians get their names. Its very simple replied his dad, after the baby is born, he’s taken out of the tipi by the father, and the first thing that the father sees is the baby’s name. For example, my name is Flying Eagle, because thats what my dad saw. Your grandfathers name was Roaming Deer, because that is what his father first say. Why do you ask, Dogs Fucking?
What the difference between… a dead dog in the road and a dead Frenchman in the road? There are skid marks in front of the dog.
What did Jack say when Nick called him a son of a bitch? He couldn’t say anything. He was a dog.
An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Irishman are running from the sheriff… They turn a corner and see three large empty sacks. Quickly, they each hide inside one. The sheriff and his deputy turn the corner and see the three sacks on the ground. The sheriff dismounts and kicks the first sack. Meow, says the Englishman. It’s just a cat, the sheriff says and kicks the second bag Woof, says the Scotsmen. It’s just a dog, the sheriff says and finally kicks the last bag. The Irishman says potatoes.
Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friends Inside of a dog, it is warm and moist.
A fly is buzzing around a wolf hound. Fly: What kind of dog are you? Dog: I’m a wolf hound. Fly: A wolf hound? Strange name . Why do they call you like that? Dog: Well, it’s quite obvious. My mother was a hound and my father was a wolf. Fly: I see… Dog: So, what kind of fly are you? Fly: I’m a horse-fly. Dog: **NO. FUCKING. WAAAAAYYY!!!**
Why don’t blind people go bungee jumping? Cause it scares the fuck out of the dogs.
Why did the cowboy get a dachshunds? Because once someone told him to get a long little doggie.
My own social media I haven’t got a computer, but I was told about Facebook and Twitter and am trying to make friends outside Facebook and Twitter while applying the same principles. Every day, I walk down the street and tell passers by what I have eaten, how I feel, what I have done the night before and what I will do fort he rest of the day. I give them pictures of my wife, my daughter, my dog and me gardening and on holiday, spending time by the pool. I also listen to their conversations, tell them I like them and give them my opinion on every subject that interests me… whether it interests them or not. And it works. I already have four people following me: two police officers, a social worker, and a psychiatrist. ^^credit; ^^P ^^W, ^^Derbyshire, ^^from ^^unknown ^^newspaper
The train was quite crowded. A US marine walked the entire length of the train, looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a poodle, owned by a well dressed, middle-aged, French Woman. The war-weary Marine asked, ‘Ma’am, may i have that seat ?’ The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, ‘Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.’ The Marine walked the length of the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. ‘Please, ma’am. May I sit down ? i’m very tired.’ She snorted, ‘Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!’ This time the Marine didnt say a word; he just picked up the little dog. threw it out of the train window, and sat down. The woman shrieked, ‘Someone must defend my honor! This American should be put in his place.’ An Englishman sitting nearby spoke up, ‘Sir, you Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong things, you live on the wrong side of the Ocean. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window.’
So these two guys get stranded in the desert… So these two guys get stranded in the desert, their car is broken down, they are out of water and help is no where in sight… Except for a shack in the distance. So the two make their way to the shack and knock. An old, ugly, wrinkly, greasy woman answers the door. It smells like she hasn’t showered for years. One guy tells her please we’re thirsty and on the brink of death. Can we have some water? Her eyes squint and she begins to smile it’s been quite a while since I’ve had the company of a man, if you sleep with me you can have all the water you want. So the two guys discuss and then ask her Is it okay if we do doggy so we don’t have to look at you? The old woman agrees and chooses one guy to do the deed. Inside the shack he noticed a bag of corn. He uses the corn on her and throws them out of the window each time she tries to take a peek at him. Eventually she finishes and the guy earns his water. He goes outside I GOT THE WATER. He finds his friend crouched by the window, corn in hand, Forget the water bring out more of this buttery corn!
An Indian nsfw An indian goes to the village elder and asks Elder, why do we have the names we do? To which the elder replies Well my son, after a child is born we look at the world and the first thing we see is the name we give the child. Why do you ask, Three Dogs Fucking?
A morbidly obese woman is in the hospital and has to take a shit… She presses the call button and the nurse comes and hoists her out of bed and onto a wheelchair. She wheels the lady into the bathroom where another hoist is used to get her onto the toilet. She finishes her business and says, Patient: I”m done Nurse: Oh but you didn’t wipe Patient: Well at home Roger helps me with that, so you’re going to have to do that The nurse wipes her and gets her hoisted back into the wheelchair and back into bed and says Nurse Your husband Roger is a dedicated man, you must have found true love! Patient Oh Roger, he’s not my Husband, He’s my dog.
Why don’t blind people skydive? Because it scares the shit out of the dogs
A blind man walks into a bar with a seeing eye dog. Immediately when he gets inside, he begins to swing the dog over his head by his leash. The bartender yells Hey ! Stop !, WTF do you think you are doing ? the blind man said Just looking around
I’m 100 percent against animal cruelty. Nothing makes me sadder than when my dog makes fun of me.
A young Korean couple are lying in bed… When the guy starts farting nonstop. The girl, unable to take the smell, says, Stop, that’s disgusting! Don’t blame me , the guy says. It’s the dog. Oh, don’t blame him , she says. He was cooked perfectly.
WW2 pilot recalls a morning patrol in front of son’s school class A grade school teacher, who was doing a unit on World War II heard that the father of one of her students had been a fighter pilot during the war with one of the Scandinavian Air Forces. She invited him to come in and speak to the class. The guy was more than happy to talk, and began with a story about a morning patrol where he had been nearly shot down. We had been up for about 20 minutes flying over enemy held territory, when we noticed, just in time, 3 fokkers diving on us from above. At the first mention of `fokkers’ the class giggled a little bit. Our group broke formation, and began the dog-fighting. As we fought, we noticed 2 more fokkers coming at us from above and 2 more fokkers, fresh from the landing field, come to join the battle . At this second and third mention of `fokkers’ the class was almost laughing openly, and the teacher interrupted the story to ask the pilot to explain to the class that a ‘fokker’ was a particular type of plane flown by the German Air Force. He replied, Ya, dat is true, but these fokkers were Messerschmidts .
A fat man, a rich man and a gay man go to Hell Standing before Satan, they waited as he determined their punishments. Trembling in fear, Satan began to speak. You three have each led a life of greed, gluttony, and wanton carnality. All sins punishable by eternal damnation. However, I will grant you one more chance at life, but each with one condition. If these rules are broken, you will return straight to hell. The three men grew excited and quickly agreed to these terms. So be it. said Satan. Satan then pointed to the fat man, You, gluttonous one, can never eat an unhealthy food again. Agreed? Agreed. The fat man said sadly. He then disappeared. You! Satan bellowed at the rich man, can never touch another dime, nor dollar or any other currency. Agreed. said the rich man, a tear in his eye. He too disappeared. Finally, said Satan to the gay man. you can never touch another man in a sexual manner. Fine! The gay man exclaimed, rolling his eyes. Back on Earth the three men were elated at being given a second chance. They decided to remain together and be sure to keep each other out of trouble. Walking down the street they passed a hot dog stand. The fat man, on a diet of vegetables and tofu salad, licked his lips at the sight of a young boys chili cheese dog and ripped it from the boy’s hands! The rich man and the gay man screamed as he took a bite…and the fat man disappeared. Shaken, they promised themselves not to fall prey to their respective vices. They continued to walk down the street and the rich man spotted a shiny new quarter on the sidewalk! By instinct the rich man bent over to pick it up, and the gay man disappeared.
What do tasty weiner’s and attractive bitches have in common? They are both hot dogs.
What happens when you play a country song backwards? You get your truck back, you get your house back, you get your girl back, and you get your dog back.
You know what sucks about being an agnostic dyslexic insomniac? You end up staying awake all night wondering if there is a dog
Justice A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbour of his. The neighbour happened to be a lawyer. Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbour and said, Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat? The lawyer replied, Of course, how much was the roast? $7.98. said the butcher. A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98. Attached to it was an invoice that read: Legal Consultation Service: $150
Why did the cowboy adopt a wiener dog? He was told to get a long little doggy…
A man walks into a talent scout’s office… … with his dog on a leash. He says to the talent scout, this is Rover, my talking dog. He’s going to make us rich! Skeptical, the talent scout says oh yeah? Prove it. not a problem says the man. Rover, what is the texture of sandpaper? Ruff! replies the dog. The talent scout is not amused. Sir, I am very busy. If you are simply going to waste my time… The man cuts him off. No, let me show you again! Rover, what do you find on the outside of a tree? Bark! says Rover. The talent scout is getting angry. Sir, is this some kind of joke? No! the man stammers. Please give me one more chance. Rover, who was the greatest baseball player of all time? Ruth! growls the dog. That’s it. Security! screams the talent scout. The man and his dog are forcefully ejected from the building. Thanks a lot, Rover groans the man. Rover looks up and says, do you think I should have said Ty Cobb?
Taking the dog for a walk During Barack Obamas visit to the Uk he and David Cameron take Davids dog for a walk and while out they decide to stop outside the local pub and have a few beers. After a while a man stumbles out of the pub, kneels at the rear end of the dog, lifts up it’s tail and stares with a confused look on his face. what do you think your doing asked Cameron. Sorry replied the man. It’s just the landlord told me there was a dog outside with 2 arseholes
The Hypnotist A hypnotist was performing when he had a group of six men all under his control. When he said ‘stand , they stood. When he said bark like a dog , they barked. He then dropped the microphone and said fuck me . What happened next was horrific.
A collection of OC jokes! Well I hope they’re funny, anyway. The past few months I’ve been writing down anything that seems vaguely amusing to me. I imagine that some of them might be already-existing jokes without knowing it, but I hope you enjoy! * I was offered a job studying fog but I turned it down. In hindsight, I think it was a mist opportunity. * What vegetable likes to wait around in lines? Queuecumbers * What’s a pensioner’s favourite genre of music? Hip-op * I decided to drink something from a scientist’s test tube. It tasted vial. * Why did the artist visit the bank? To draw some money. * What’s the best thing about walking through a friendly forest? All the pleasantrees * I was going to make a joke about alcoholism, but I decided against it because I thought it’d be a bit too whiskey. * how do you greet the world’s cleanest woman? Hi, Jean . * I got kicked out of the wig shop because I didn’t want toupee. * I bought an album called Sounds of the Railway , but I didn’t like any of the tracks * I tried to get into the Guinness Book of Records by smashing up music albums. I broke a lot of records. * Why were there clouds at the theatre production? Because it had been over cast. * I used to have a job testing the durability of trainers. You might think that sounds easy, but it was sole-destroying work… * Did you hear about the fellow who went insane trying to clear his sinuses? He ended up in a menthol hospital * I used to be obsessed with going to the bank. I’m trying to stop but I have withdrawal symptoms… * Why did the eagle go to church? Because it’s a bird of pray. * Where do fish go to earn a degree? Tunaversity. * Someone suggested I should grow my hair down the back of my head. I wasn’t keen on the idea, but I told them I’d mullet over. * I watched a movie documentary about the history of tea exports, it was rated PG tips. * Who stands outside the toddler nightclub? Baby bouncers. * I have a very special type of dog – it was cross-bred with a vegetable. It’s a border cauliflower * What happened to the last aftershave in the cupboard? It felt colognely * What do you inject into a suit to make it look bigger? Bowtux. Bonus jokes that I didn’t think were very good but decided to include anyway!!!! * I had a dinner cooked by Dr. Who. It tasted dalektable (like… delectable) * What do you call a sour supervisor? A lime manager. * What food keeps you warm on a cold day? Fajitas… (like uh, fa-heaters…) * What’s the funniest type of cereal? A muesli (like… amuse-li?) * The Bow and Arrow is an excellent weapon, with one drawback. * Gambling can be very dangerous, if roulette it take over your life. * What do you call a boring, unoriginal piece of fruit? A banalna. * What do you call a piece of fruit that doesn’t really matter? Not applic-apple.
A man goes into a new restaurant for dinner… He orders his starter, and when he gets it, he notices that his plate is still dirty. He asks the waiter why his plate is dirty. The waiter replies, Sorry sir, that’s the best cold water can get it. When he gets his main course, he notices his plate is dirty. He asks the waiter why his plate is dirty again. The waiter replies, Sorry sir, that’s the best cold water can get it. He then gets his dessert, and notices, again, that his plate is dirty. He asks the waiter again why his plate is dirty. The waiter replies, Sorry sir, that’s the best cold water can get it. After finishing his dessert, he pays the bill and leaves. As he is leaving, he is pushed over by a large dog, who begins licking his face. The waiter runs over to the dog and shouts, Sit Cold Water, sit!
Blind Pilot One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind; the pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle. The copilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with sunglasses. At first, the passengers do not react thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. After a few minutes though, the engines start revving, and the airplane begins moving down the runway. The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness. They start whispering among themselves and look desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance. Yet, the plane starts accelerating rapidly, and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical. When the plane has less than twenty feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once. At the very last moment, the plane lifts off and is airborne. Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of relief and tells the pilot: You know, one of these days the passengers aren’t going to scream, and we aren’t going to know when to take off!
the Blind Man and his Dog…!!! This blind fella is standing at the corner with his seeing eye dog waiting to cross the street, when his pooch lifts his leg and you guessed it, right down the side of his nice herringbone tweed trousers. The guy immediately reaches into his jacket pocket and retrieves a doggie treat which he starts to offer to the dog. A businessman, who is also waiting to cross the street, observes this happening and interrupts, None of my business, but are you aware of the fact that your dog just wizzed all down the leg of your pants? Yes, I’m trying to break him of that habit , replies the blind man. Well, it’s none of my business, retorts the onlooker, but you’re not going to teach him much by rewarding him with a treat! To which the blind fella chuckles, Oh I’m not rewarding him. I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick his ass!
This is how good my dog is, LOL. I tell ya, my dog is lazy. He don’t chase cars. He sits on the curb and takes down license plate numbers. Rodney Dangerfield
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. ”Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10. Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks. Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message: Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don’t stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.
What does an agnostic, dyslexic insomniac spend his time doing? Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.
Chunks Dude goes to a bar and gets absolutely shit faced drunk. The bartender is watching him all night to make sure he doesn’t do anything crazy and makes sure he gets a ride home. The next morning the dude comes in with a crazy hangover. Bartender says Hey bud, how you feelin this mornin? Dude says I feel AWFUL, I’ve never been in this much pain. Bartender: Well you know, the best way to get rid of a hangover is to start drinkin again! Dude: I can’t man, i was blowing chunks all night long. Bartender: Oh no man, you’ll be fine. Just have a drink, they’re all on me. Don’t worry about it. Dude: I don’t think you understand…..Chunks is my dog.
ELI5: What does ELI5 mean? Dude goes to a bar and gets absolutely shit faced drunk. The bartender is watching him all night to make sure he doesn’t do anything crazy and makes sure he gets a ride home. The next morning the dude comes in with a crazy hangover. Bartender says Hey bud, how you feelin this mornin? Dude says I feel AWFUL, I’ve never been in this much pain. Bartender: Well you know, the best way to get rid of a hangover is to start drinkin again! Dude: I can’t man, i was blowing chunks all night long. Bartender: Oh no man, you’ll be fine. Just have a drink, they’re all on me. Don’t worry about it. Dude: I don’t think you understand…..Chunks is my dog.
What has four legs, barks excitedly when you come home and has six cold beers stored, so you can grab one and chill on the couch after work? A dog with its butthole stretched open and six cold beers stuffed into it.
The best late artist of the late 20th century yelvis. I AINT NOTHING BUT A HOUND DOG. CRYING ALL THE TIME.
What does the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything. The vendor makes him the hot dog and the Buddhist hands him a $20 bill. The vendor hands him his hot dog and then the Buddhist sits down at a nearby table to enjoy it. Soon after, to the Buddhist’s dismay, he realizes the vendor hasn’t been forthcoming with the rest of his money. He knows the hot dog couldn’t have been $20, so the Buddhist approaches the vendor and says: Excuse me, where’s my change? To which the vendor replies: Change comes only from within.
Southwest So a little boy and his mommmy are on an airplane. The little boy asks Mommy, if mommys and daddys can make babies and mommy and daddy doggies can make puppies then how do mommy and daddy airplanes make babies? The mom says I dont know but go ask the pilot The little boy goes to the pilot and ask him his question, and the pilot says Our Airplanes dont make babies because were Southwest Airlines and we pull out on time!
Stumpy Legged Pink Dog A guy walks into a bar with his dog on a leash the barman says, Geez that’s a weird dog: he’s stumpy-legged, pink, and doesn’t have a tail, but I bet my rottweiler would beat the heck out of it. 50 bucks is laid down. Out in the yard the rottweiler gets mauled to pieces. Another drinker says his pit bull will win but the bet is 100 bucks. Another trip to the yard and when it’s all over there are bits of pit-bull terrier all over the place. The drinker pays up and says, Say what breed is that anyway? The owner says, Until I cut his tail off and painted it pink it was the same breed as every other alligator
A man walks into a bar… He walks up to the bar and asks who’s Lamborghini is parked in the front. The bartender replies It’s no ones, it’s part of a contest we’re having. Intrigued the patron asks about the contest. The contest is simple – put 20 bucks in this jar – and you a chance to win the car, you just need to do 3 tasks? What are the 3 tasks asks the man Well 1st you need to chug this bottle of tequila, 2nd you need to go and pull the owners dogs loose tooth out, it’s been aching for a few weeks but no one wants to go near it since he’s a very aggressive rottweiler, and last there’s this old lady that lives upstairs, she hasn’t been fucked in ages and could use a good pounding…If you complete all three you get the lambo the bartender explains Ha, that doesn’t sound too bad for 20$ i’ll give it a shot he says as he slaps 20$ on the counter So the bartender hands him the bottle and the man chugs it down…then he stumbles out – the whole bar starts hearing yelling, screaming, screeching, pounding, and finally a loud grunt and silence. The man walks back in smiles, and asks.. So, wheres the lady with the loose tooth
One hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog One hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold to drink. Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked, ‘Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside? The blonde said it was hers. ‘Your dog seems to be in heat’ the officer said. The blonde replied, ‘No way. She’s cool ’cause she’s tied up under that shade tree. The policeman said, ‘No! You don’t understand. Your dog needs to be bred. ‘No way,’ said the blonde. ‘My dog doesn’t need bread. She isn’t hungry ’cause I fed her this morning. The exasperated policeman said, ‘NO! You don’t understand. Your dog wants to have sex! (You have to love this) The blonde looked at the cop and said, ‘Well, go ahead. I always wanted a police dog.
Blowin’ Chunks A guy walks into a bar. Sits down and reaches into his bag to pull out a picture. He sets the picture on the bar face down and says, Bartender, two of your strongest shots please! . The bartender, thinking nothing of it lines up the 2 shots for him. The man downs the 2 shots then picks up the picture and looks at it. He then puts the picture down and orders 2 more. The same thing happens. He downs the shots then picks the picture up, looks at it and then orders 2 more. Finally the bartender asks the man, hey bud, I gotta ask, whats with the picture? The man says Well, tonight I have to sleep with my wife but she is hideous. With every shot I take she looks a little better . The bartender says I have the perfect shot for you then The bartender pours the shot, hands it to the man and the man slams it down. He picks the picture up and says Ok, Im ready The next day the same man comes back in the bar and walks up to the bartender and ask What was in that shot you gave me? I was blowing chunks all night?! The bartender says Oh, Im sorry it made you sick! The man says No, Chunks is my dog!
A man’s dog dies A fine elderly Catholic gentleman lived alone in Southwest Florida in an upscale gated community except for his beloved dog that he had for a long time. The dog finally died and the gent went to the parish priest, saying Father, my dear dog is dead. Could you possibly be saying a Mass for the poor creature? Father Patrick told the grief stricken man No, we can’t have services for an animal in the church, but I’ll tell you what, there’s a Baptist church down the road, and no telling what they believe in, but maybe they’ll do something for the animal. The old fellow said I’ll go right now. Thank you Father…By the way, do you think $50,000 is enough to donate for the service? Father Patrick replied Why didn’t you tell me the dog was Catholic.
Was at the dentist the other day, he told me to say ahhhh I asked him why, he said his dog died – Tommy Cooper
2 guys walking down the road… they see a dog, licking its junk. I wish I could do that. Uhhh….you might want to try petting him first.
Is it getting solipsistic in here, or is it just me? they see a dog, licking its junk. I wish I could do that. Uhhh….you might want to try petting him first.
A Woman And Her Hundred Kids There was this woman, who had a hundred children (probably from mexico or something). Now, this woman had no imagination, so she simply named them after the order they were born. The first child was named 1 , the second 2 and so on. Unfortunately, the woman and her children got into a terrible accident, (again, probably something to do with mexico) leaving everybody dead, except for 90. The years pass and 90 grows older, having two children of her own. One day, these two children find a stray dog, and take it home. Knowing that their mother would not approve of them owning a dog, they named the dog This so she wouldn’t know. For example, they would say Let’s take This outside. So 90 would be none the wiser. One day, while the children were playing, they forgot about the dog, and This was run over by a car. (Once again, mexico, crazy shit happens) The children mourned, but no one else had even known the dog had existed. And so… Only 90’s kids will remember This.
